What Happened to the Social in Social Media?

Remember When "Social" Was Actually Social?

Have you noticed that your social feed, pick any platform feels less like a hangout with friends and more like a slot machine for viral videos, influencers, and memes you’ll forget by lunch? Remember when “social” meant checking in on your cousin’s weird vacation or laughing at your friend’s questionable dinner pics?

Just Call Them What They Are: Media Companies

Facebook, X, TikTok all of them haven’t just replaced your friends’ photo dumps. They’ve replaced old-school network TV. The new broadcasters? YouTube (yep, bigger than Netflix), and TikTok.

Ask anyone under 25 what they’re "watching." Spoiler: It’s almost never network TV just endless streams from YouTube and TikTok.

Are You Choosing What You See?

Scroll for five minutes and ask yourself: Do you actually see posts from the people you care about?

Platforms like X, Threads, Facebook, and TikTok don’t really care about your preferences; they care about their algorithms. Instead of showing you what you want to see, they’re pushing what they think will keep you hooked. No wonder reciprocity has faded out and engagement feels one-way and totally manufactured.

As The Verge wrote:

Result? More distance, less authenticity. What was once about real relationships is now just a parade of polished content for strangers to consume.

So What? Why Should You Care?

If you’re in midlife, building a second act trying to reinvent, earn more, or just connect, the real flex now is genuine human connection. Actual, not-performed-for-the-camera, “I see you and I care” connection.

Here’s the secret: The ONE thing algorithms can’t automate is you showing up as yourself.

How Do You Stand Out (Without Selling Your Soul)?

Try This

• Drop the filters: Imperfect is interesting. Share something that’s a bit messy or real.

• Offer real value: Doesn’t have to be “10 tips to change your life.” Sometimes, it’s just your point of view, or simply being good company.

• Ask, don’t just broadcast: Comment on others’ stuff. DM someone. Start a two-way conversation like a real human.

• Show up: Be present in your inbox, DMs, or wherever your true community lives. Actual follow-through is almost radical now.

The Doomscrolling Trap

Trying to build something on social can easily spiral into endless, soul-numbing doomscrolling. I’ve caught myself doing it more than I’d like while growing "Faark I Hope It's Not Too Late." Suddenly, I'm spending hours on platforms I barely like.

Here’s how I protect myself:

Try This

• Schedule your posts (I use Typefully): Post. Step away.

• Time-block your engagement: 15 minutes, twice a day. Set a timer. No cheating.

• You don’t need an opinion on everything: Save your sanity.

• Always have a goal before logging on: Are you here to connect, to learn, or just because you’re bored? Be honest with yourself.

On Social, You Don’t Own Your Audience

All those followers, they could disappear the second Mark or Elon gets bored and tweaks the rules. Your “community” is only borrowing space you do NOT control it.

So your top priority: get people off Big Social and onto a platform you own (yep, I mean your email list). That’s why some of the biggest creators are fleeing X, Threads, and Facebook for Substack. I’m experimenting with this myself and will report back.

In Closing

Social media isn’t "social" anymore, it’s just media, with a manipulative edge. But authentic connection isn’t extinct…it’s just rare (and that means valuable). Show up as your real self, build genuine relationships, and don’t let doomscrolling torpedo your goals or your mental health.

And whatever you do: Move your people somewhere YOU own. Not somewhere Zuck or Musk controls.

Try This

Reflect:

• Has your feed become just “media,” or is it still a social space for you?

• What’s one thing you can do today to make your corner of the Internet a little more…human?

Hit reply and tell me your best (or worst) social media moment or how you finally broke free from the algorithm. I actually read these!